manny santos ಌ (manuela_santos) wrote,
manny santos ಌ

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Shaken; it’s as if we’re all completely moved (to some extreme) by the shooting. And, in midst of it all, there I am, Manny Santos, with nothing to do but cry. Of course, I wasn’t really directly influenced by the shooting—I wasn’t a friend of Jimmy’s, nor Rick’s, but while in the middle of your favorite 5 o’clock runway show, you get interrupted by a newsbreak. Only to see your school the main attraction, and Rick, Jimmy and everyone else involved the main story of the hour. Ultimately, Toby was terrified. He witnessed someone dying, not something your average person goes through. None the less, the person who died was his friend. So, I took him to Rick’s funeral. Just because JT was being a total jerk, and denied having any relation to Toby. But in the end, JT pulled through, and showed up at the funeral, too. This totally gave JT some major points in my book ;).

Then there was Emma’s ordeal. She too, witnessed Rick dying, so there was a strong impact on her. She obviously didn’t handle it aswell as I expected, but she did her best, it was a difficult thing to deal with. And the aftermath of all of this hasn’t been great either, she knows what I mean.

So, Spinner and I became official a few weeks ago. And who would have guessed it? We broke up just recently. What he did to Jimmy was wrong, but I do respect his coming clean about it. I just didn’t see our relationship going anywhere.

So what can I say about my life before grade 10? My head is spinning, and there are tons of things I need to say. But I can’t, I don’t want to, I just want everything back to perfection. Perfection; what a word. I never got to realize what perfection meant and how lucky I was to actually own perfection (to some level). Grade 9 was a defiant slap in the face, I realized I couldn’t live in fantasy land and I had to face reality. But even then [in grade 9], I didn’t understand the concept of “reality”. I was a complete air head, and believed I could do what I want. Say what I want, think how I want, and change what I want. Change. Another word that if you ask anyone at DCS, they will immediately link it back to me. In grade 9, I went through a major change. I went from innocent little angel Manny Santos, to the hot and wild Manny Santos. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone in the process—but I know I did. All I can say about that is the attention, made my ego grow 10 times the size. Then the ordeal with Craig happened. I had always had a thing for Craig, being my first ever boyfriend and all. He had a special place. And one night at a party, Paige’s birthday to be exact, we sort of hooked up. He was single that day, that’s for sure. A couple of months later, I was impregnated with his baby. Simply said (I’m uneasy about talking about it) I had an abortion. I had my whole life ahead of me, and this, this baby was going to throw it all away. I know it was wrong, but I needed to. I was 14.

So now that everyone is fully aware of my life story, feel free to be added [to the story] and hit me up on AIM sometime: manny gets low.
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